-It’s a question I get asked on the reg, in different forms, across all kinda contexts.
Perception is a funny thing- from ‘white chocolate’ to Albanian, I’ve gotten it all, and it’s cool; I’m all about multiculturalism- especially when my friends adopt me as part of their ethnic crews.
However, no matter how much sangria I consume, curry I devour or Italian stallions I drool over, there’s a tiny fact that only a few of my pals have been able to identify.
Apart from the frequent “you sound like you’re from London” observation from strangers, the degree to which I’m a MASSIVE Brit/ POM at heart has gone unnoticed.
While my undying love for London town, including Harry & Wills; my besties that feel the need to reside there (as well as it’s ridiculously close proximity to Italia and olay- town) is no secret, there is something else that fuels my bond with the motherland…
And that is… British TV. (DON’T JUDGE!)
I started young, with late night viewings of the BILL and the Vicar of Dibley, and progressed to AB FAB (which could explain a lot about my adulthood).
The love matured however when I discovered TOWIE and Made in Chelsea, and it continues to flourish as I navigate my way through the early years of adulthood, stumbling and (hopefully) growing along side Louise & Spenny.
There is something comforting about watching people of a similar age making the same fuck- ups, being slapped in the face by the same lessons and experiencing just as much confusion and disillusion (and of course oodles of fun).
The bond between the viewers and the botoxed beauties is one that cannot be explained, it is felt across oceans and screens.
It is developed, not through the piss ups and overt vanity, but in the vulnerability and hurt that is felt and shown, especially in relationships (/ failed attempts at that love thang).
There is one particular gal that I want to fly over and cuddle. Up until the last ep of Made in Chelsea, poor Binky has been bloody unlucky in love. Not because she’s a dud, but because people can be A-holes.
After being repeatedly cheated on by a dickhead named Alex, Binks took her time to heal.
During this time, another (delicious) man took a liking to her, and pursued the brunette beauty for about six months (of viewing).
JP seemed SO promising- having never been in a relationship, but being a great mate to all, he was considered to be the ultimate good guy.
While he continually delivered in his attempt to woo Binks, the height of our hopes grew, as Binky very slowly softened her walls.
Like all modern tinder- ships seem to do- Binky and JP got to the stage where they’d out grown the situation-ship and an ultimatum had to be given.
Despite the fear and doubt Binky had about relationships and being rejected/ hurt by JP, she decided (with the extremely ironic guidance of Alex himself who believes she deserves a good guy– LOL) she threw it aside, downed some champers and asked the boi out herself.
…And do you know what he said???
SOZ, you’ve got too much baggage.
I was disgusted to say the least, as were the Chelsea sisterhood who put JP firmly in his place.
This is what us humans do!
We JUDGE people on the ways in which OTHERS have treated them, hurt them and the insecurities that have manifested.
We base our perceptions on the company people keep, the places they go and music they like.
For relationship virgins– we assume there’s something wrong, and the same judgement is made about damaged goods.
The JP & Binky ordeal left me wondering what exactly the perfect criteria for a 20- something bachelor/ bachelorette is…
It seems that love has become a small element of a large list that has been determined by failed experiences and Hollywood illusions. (I’m sure a few mummy/daddy complex’s are mixed in there too)..
-Are we really in tune with ‘that’ connection? or is our view shaded by superficial shit? Do we fall for a person because of who they actually are, or who we think they are or want them to be?
-How many soul mate opportunities are we passing up for easy or safe options?
-Why don’t we listen to our instincts more?
Over the years, Essex and Chelsea fans have watched girls (and occasionally guys) questions their partners loyalty– sometimes in response to rumours and sometimes solely because of ‘that’ gut feeling. Every single suspicion has been spot on.
I think, that if we paid more attention to our inner shit, so many wrong relationships may be avoided- creating space for the right ones.
[case in point– Binky knew something wasn’t right about JP, and yet she blanked her feelings in response to her pals pressure].
.. Do y’all seee how much soul searching can manifest from some illegally downloaded reality TV? It has gotta’ be British though, that’s a must 😉
August marked a year since I first challenged my ego and risked my angelic reputation by publicly word vomiting my opinions onto WordPress.com !
While a few pals had been pushing me to do something with my communications degree (other than practise my stalking/ investigative skills) for a while, it took a hung- dog Saturday morning state to fuel my oh- so feminist outburst about trolling, body shaming & the mighty media in general.
And ever since I slammed the lappy screen shut in a hot ball of anxiety, I have been overwhelmed and pleasantly surprised by the variety of respondents and responses to my overtly opinionated alternative thoughts!
Being the overly analytical psych student that I am, the degree to which I froth while monitoring the many ways in which my words trigger reactions is barely surprising. What is kinda interesting however, is that amount of curiosity many of y’all seem to have also.
So… I thought I would follow in the wise and wonderful footsteps of a good friend who, on every birthday, takes it upon himself to educate the FB world on the shit he’s learnt over the past 12 months of life.
Now, before you close the tab at the fear of a self indulgent exploration of my personal development and Ghandi-like enlightenment, CHILL. This aint’ alllll about me (there are elements, though #sorrynotsorry).
To keep your interest and ‘up’ my following, I have compiled 3 easy to follow, insightful and (hopefully) LOL- worthy lists for the sticky beak in all of us:
What YOU (readers/ stalkers/ feed backers) LIKE:
Regardless of the topic, the dirtier/ grittier and rawer the writing, the richer the response (surprise!)
As a slightly blunt and opinionated person, I have been conscious of being ‘balanced’ and ‘controlled’ in my views, in an attempt to avoid criticism/ offending the softer petals out there. However, it seems the more I dish it out, the more the readership and respect has grown.
Whether its sex, politics or kale, y’all like to keep it real.
While I was initially reluctant as feck to open up to the extent I have done, it turns out that sharing our stories is rather therapeutic and empowering for fellow humans… especially when it comes to #L0V3. WHO KNEW?!
It’s no secret we all love a cheeky bitch session. Alternative Thoughts has strengthened this truth, particularly when it comes to:
> social rules/expectations
> gender norms + sexism (especially towards MEN)
> body shaming
Well, it seems that we love to hate love, love to love love, and are bloody perplexed by the concept all together. We seem avoid it and seek it all at once.. hence the tinder culture of commitment phobes & situation-ships.
- BOOZE, FOOD & TRAVEL
For obvious reasons.
Putting the ‘buzz‘ in buzzwords, it really does sell (haha).
The HATE train includes:
- HIPSTERS ‘n’ HIPPIES
Anyone remember my post- farmers market rant about the latest trend of insta- hippies who sip on coconuts while taking bare foot selfies and munching on their daily carrot stick? well that little post made it big in the blogging world (it’s legit read every day).
Of others, and of our own life choices, regardless of what they are. Freedom and Equality for all, y’all!
Apparently it’s a no-go zone in the white world…
It seems that anytime I have my rosy- coloured glasses on, encourage an optimistic perspective, or hint at embracing a stable lifestyle, the band wagon suffers… #cray
Things we LOVE 2 HATE:
- THE MEDIA
We hate the power the media holds. We hate their manipulative ways, the messages being communicated and the damaging effects of propaganda.
We also hate the trolling and bullying that manifests behind the screens. We are sickened by filters and the insular, vain values the gram promotes.
And yet, we continue to scroll, continue to post, continue to be influenced. The struggle is REAL.
- Feeding our Egos
Because we are human.
And there ya have it~ I’m at 700 words , which means I need to shut up ASAP or ratings will plummet. ( We are lazy and impatient, in case you forgot).
Thanks for following along, I’m always open to suggestions and alternative opinions!
“The soul- altering, messy, crazy, illogical, but passionate, fun and fulfilling shit that whips us out of reality and into ‘mooshy- gooshy’ happy land is hard to find and impossible to forget (oh- so cliche, but kinda true)…”
“There are Plenty of Fish in the Sea”
Having the vivid child- like imagination that I do, I can’t help but picture the dating scene as tiny heads bopping up and down in the ocean every time someone says the above quote. I have a fair idea of who the sharks would be, the sting rays that would hopefully be avoided, and the schools of tiny eligible fish that float along without appreciation. Thanks to Finding Nemo, it’s easy to personify the ocean and the amount of possible suitors in the world.
Of course, Tinder is increasing the possibility of finding the ‘one’ at rapid speeds, and RSVP allows us to flirt with Ketut in Bali to Luda in Eastern Europe (they don’t even have to be real). What does need to be real, however is the ‘connection’ and chemistry (dah!).The soul- altering, messy, crazy, illogical…
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In the spirit of valentines day… a look at how and why the porn industry needs a makeover. watch the talks!
You might not think TED has anything to do with Fifty Shades of Grey. We didn’t either. Until we woke up this morning to find ourselves called out in The New Yorker’s scathing review of the movie: “You get dirtier talk in most action movies, and more genitalia in a TED talk on Renaissance sculpture.”
So just for fun, we thought we’d see how racy our talks can get. And it turns out, VERY.
Here, our favorite TED and TEDx Talks with more frank talk than the watered-down movie version of Fifty Shades of Grey:
1. What we didn’t know about penis anatomy. A scientist explains how guys get it up — biologically speaking. It’s graphic enough to make you blush, and you’ll hear two words that should never go together: penis and cross-section.
2. The birds and the bees are just the beginning. A parade…
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