Sex, Love & Kale

August marked a year since I first challenged my ego and risked my angelic reputation by publicly word vomiting my opinions onto WordPress.com !

While a few pals had been pushing me to do something with my communications degree (other than practise my stalking/ investigative skills) for a while, it took a hung- dog Saturday morning state to fuel my oh- so feminist outburst about trolling, body shaming & the mighty media in general.

And ever since I slammed the lappy screen shut in a hot ball of anxiety, I have been overwhelmed and pleasantly surprised by the variety of respondents and responses to my overtly opinionated alternative thoughts!

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Being the overly analytical psych student that I am, the degree to which I froth while monitoring the many ways in which my words trigger reactions is barely surprising. What is kinda interesting however, is that amount of curiosity many of y’all seem to have also.

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So… I thought I would follow in the wise and wonderful footsteps of a good friend who, on every birthday, takes it upon himself to educate the FB world on the shit he’s learnt over the past 12 months of life.

Now, before you close the tab at the fear of a self indulgent exploration of my personal development and Ghandi-like enlightenment, CHILL. This aint’ alllll about me (there are elements, though #sorrynotsorry).

To keep your interest and ‘up’ my following, I have compiled 3 easy to follow, insightful and (hopefully) LOL- worthy lists for the sticky beak in all of us:

What YOU (readers/ stalkers/ feed backers) LIKE: 

  • HONESTY

Regardless of the topic, the dirtier/ grittier and rawer the writing, the richer the response (surprise!)

As a slightly blunt and opinionated person, I have been conscious of being ‘balanced’ and ‘controlled’ in my views, in an attempt to avoid criticism/ offending the softer petals out there. However, it seems the more I dish it out, the more the readership and respect has grown.

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Whether its sex, politics or kale, y’all like to keep it real.

  • AUTHENTICITY

While I was initially reluctant as feck to open up to the extent I have done, it turns out that sharing our stories is rather therapeutic and empowering for fellow humans… especially when it comes to #L0V3. WHO KNEW?!

  • WHINGING

It’s no secret we all love a cheeky bitch session. Alternative Thoughts has strengthened this truth, particularly when it comes to:

> social rules/expectations

> gender norms + sexism (especially towards MEN)

> bullshitters

> body shaming

  • LOVE

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Well, it seems that we love to hate love, love to love love, and are bloody perplexed by the concept all together. We seem avoid it and seek it all at once.. hence the tinder culture of commitment phobes & situation-ships.

  • BOOZE, FOOD & TRAVEL

For obvious reasons.

  • SEX

Putting the ‘buzz‘ in buzzwords, it really does sell (haha).

The HATE train includes:

  •  HIPSTERS ‘n’ HIPPIES

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Anyone remember my post- farmers market rant about the latest trend of insta- hippies who sip on coconuts while taking bare foot selfies and munching on their daily carrot stick? well that little post made it big in the blogging world (it’s legit read every day).

  • JUDGEMENT

Of others, and of our own life choices, regardless of what they are. Freedom and Equality for all, y’all!

  • RACISM

Apparently it’s a no-go zone in the white world…

  • POSITIVITY

 It seems that anytime I have my rosy- coloured glasses on, encourage an optimistic perspective, or hint at embracing a stable lifestyle, the band wagon suffers… #cray

Things we LOVE 2 HATE:

  • THE MEDIA

We hate the power the media holds. We hate their manipulative ways, the messages being communicated and the damaging effects of propaganda.

We also hate the trolling and bullying that manifests behind the screens. We are sickened by filters and the insular, vain values the gram promotes.

And yet, we continue to scroll, continue to post, continue to be influenced. The struggle is REAL.

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  • LOVE

Because, Love.

  • Feeding our Egos

Because we are human.

And there ya have it~ I’m at 700 words , which means I need to shut up ASAP or ratings will plummet. ( We are lazy and impatient, in case you forgot).

Thanks for following along, I’m always open to suggestions and alternative opinions!

Happy Tuesday!

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Winter Whining (By A White Gal)

Oh holidays.. such a dreamy period full of opportunity, experiences, travel and fun…. well thats the idealistic version I diluted myself with to get through every dry, tedious lecture, assignment and exam prep.

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The reality for the brain fried, lazy and every so stereotypical uni student that i am (particularly in winter) is slightly closer to unhealthy Netflix binges, pizza and alcohol consumption along with as much sleep as I can manage amongst shit-ly scheduled shifts.

Sometimes I surprise myself however, like last Thursday when I treated myself to a massage, intended to relieve the study induced tension that has NOTHING to do with Orange Is The New Black.

Having assessed the fat knots framing my neck, I knew a bita’ Chinese acupressure (with a side of back straddling) was in order.

When I called, I was excited to hear the owners voice; that woman does things to my ass that no physio has ever achieved. The relief and sensation is something else, and I intended to lay down and take it all in.

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Just as I was settling in however, a gross creep barged into the salon, interrupting my appointment to ask how many girls worked at ‘Nihow’, how old they are and whether or not he can receive a happy ending at 3pm on a Thursday arvo in my little civilised neighbourhood.

Not only did this fuel a rage in my feminist veins, it led to a heavy discussion on race, politics, education and of course money, which resulted in a few leg kicks and excessive arm waving (GOODBYE ZEN).

I was learning a lot, mostly about men and the typical behaviours found at varying salons across the metropolitan area. (A wine or 10 was defs required to process that shit). It wasn’t until my dear masseuse decided to intercept my opinion with a solution however, that led to my… well… annoyance.

” You know, you should go to China. You would love.”

-Of course I asked what this had to do with perverted men-

“Lots of fun, good shopping, you know, good economy, find nice husband.”

Then I realised- this woman was just being patriotic. She had built a bond and felt the need to entice me into her mother country, you know- while I was naked and hot headed, covered in vegetable oil while she whispered to her employees peeping through the door.

I then remembered that I am off to Bali in a few weeks, and took a deep inhale. I pictured myself laying by the pool, coconut in hand, soaking up the rays as I take in the un-interrupted ocean view.

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Oh wait~ except for the line of beach workers shoving sarongs in my face, begging me to look, and buy, and look, and buy.

“You! black hair, you look Indonesian! very pretty! come look, come look.”

Yes, it’s cute. More so, it’s a bloody tough gig, (from a privileged white girls point of view). They are just trying to survive, and the sarongs are ever so pretty. i don’t wanna hate, or ignore. I want to show acknowledgement and respect, and I always do.

But after that, I want to be left alone. I don’t want to hassled every time turn my head in the wrong direction, or walk along the beach.

And here we have it: the clash of the worlds. The white power guilt and ethical dilemmas.

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While I admire the owner of the massage parlour, I did not enjoy receiving a photo album of Beijing post massage.

This led me to reflect on a doco I watched recently about an American girl who had been adopted from Vietnam.

Having felt a void in her adopted family, the lady went to a lengthy effort to track down her biological relatives. As I watched with enthusiasm and emotion as the woman arrived at the airport, it was so nice to see the love and connection experienced as she embraced her mumma and papa.

It was then so disheartening to watch her face change as her brother sat her down to request financial support. Being from the west, the family had assumed the girl was in the position to support the family, as is tradition in their culture anyway.

The cultural clash had struck again, and it’s no ones fault!

I’ve always believed that humans can connect and relate on many levels, from all corners of the globe. If there was one thing that divides, it is of course- the mighty dollar bills.

One day I plan to use my ‘power’ to make differences, to be honest I already do, weekly. However, sometimes all a gal needs is a good mojito in the sun to re-boot, guilt and creep free!

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It DOES matter if you’ re BLACK or WHITE.

In light of the amazing movement towards peace, solidarity and unity in Australia, following the horrible siege, I would like to express my pride and joy in what is also a deeply saddening time…. #iwillridewithyou #terrorismisnotareligion

Alternative Thoughts

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It does matter if you’re black or white (or in-between) actually, and I think it may have to MJ himself, too.

It matters because the world is DIVERSE.

Diverse in cultures, colours, language, customs, religions, practices, opportunities.

Diverse in access to shelter, safety, stability, fresh food supplies, health aid and financial support.

Diverse in EDUCATION, access to it, the content of it.

It matters because the colour of peoples skin has determined their social status globally, since colonisation. White supremacy  has determined ownership of land, and distribution of money, care, respect and justice.

To deny this history, and the effects of  such blatantly racist, inhumane actions, and to deny the existence of ones cultural heritage, is to deny part of their identity.

“Fit in or Fuck Off”

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In other words, demanding that all citizens of a country (like Australia) be part of the ONE EQUAL, HOMOGENISED TEAM that thinks and…

View original post 532 more words

It DOES matter if you’ re BLACK or WHITE.

10733675_10154770884445182_1027482915_n

It does matter if you’re black or white (or in-between) actually, and I think it may have to MJ himself, too.

It matters because the world is DIVERSE.

Diverse in cultures, colours, language, customs, religions, practices, opportunities.

Diverse in access to shelter, safety, stability, fresh food supplies, health aid and financial support.

Diverse in EDUCATION, access to it, the content of it.

It matters because the colour of peoples skin has determined their social status globally, since colonisation. White supremacy  has determined ownership of land, and distribution of money, care, respect and justice.

To deny this history, and the effects of  such blatantly racist, inhumane actions, and to deny the existence of ones cultural heritage, is to deny part of their identity.

“Fit in or Fuck Off”

art-7TeamAustralia2-620x349

In other words, demanding that all citizens of a country (like Australia) be part of the ONE EQUAL, HOMOGENISED TEAM that thinks and acts in the same way, not only denies the celebration of individuality and difference, it alienates and isolates the ‘others’.  It is also racist.

Last week I had a mind- altering convo with a few pals. Being the wanna- be philosophers we are, we were (as always) pondering the problems with the world and the need for social change, when a guy friend said “we just need to treat others as we’d like to be treated, it is simple”.

My friend responsed with a long pause before asking DO WE THOUGH? how do you know how the people in Somalia or Indigenous people want to be treated? do they have the same needs as you? have you had the same life experience?

She made a point, and I think she is right. We don’t know what is right for everyone, or what others may deem best for their circumstances.

We know that we all experience life differently, and have a different story  and perceptive as a result. We also, particularly in OZ, celebrate our multicultural society and laid back, fun loving attitudes. But there are limits.

Limits on what we consider “normal”, “acceptable” and “cool”.

These constricting labels don’t just apply to people with darker skin obviously, I mean we can’t even legalise gay marriage (or find healthy weights on the cat walks)

Unfortunately, when something or someone is foreign and unknown, they are often seen as a threat. And instead of educating ourselves by interacting with, and getting to know different people, cultures, practices, norms and celebrating diversity, we sit in our glass boxes and judge, assume and isolate.

This is such a shame, because not only do we miss out on the rich experience of story exchange, we miss the opportunity to identity our similarities as humans~~ as people navigating this big scary world side by side.

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I don’t see any benefit in pointing the blame at our selves individually, as shaming never gets us far and it is obvious that we, especially in the western world, have been programed to think this way. I mean FFS, where are the black and Asian emojis? Why is the angel blonde?

Even in Asia, models and actors are photoshopped to look Eurasian. This is SAD.

IMG_1752 Look, I aint’ perfect. Assumptions about culture, race and characteristics are so deeply ingrained in my European veins, that it’s impossible to claim that I’ve never made a stupid judgement in my life.

But I am lucky to have friends from different parts of the world, with different skin colours and mother tongues. I have more in common with some of my ‘foreign’ pals then I do with my white neighbours. I know this because we have taken the time to get to know each other and to bond. Bond over our similarities and our differences.

I think we need to start putting a lot more emphasis on the character of people, and whether or not they are a fuckhead, and a little less on the connotations of their associated labels. Maybe then we’ll reconsider who we choose to run our country too?

Happy Friday!

I Assume You’re An Idiot !

 

‘Mila Kunis is getting nervous about the birth of her child’.

WOW! how fricken’ shocking. Assuming a heavily pregnant first time mother is less- than confident about pushing a human out of her vagina (or being cut open) isn’t exactly rocket science. Despite the highly predictable nature of the statement though, THE WORDS NEVER CAME OUT OF THE GIRLS MOUTH.

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There are a shit load of assumptions that, like the Mila Kunis one, bombard our lives daily. While the media is responsible for constructing ALOT of crap that spreads like swine flu, we (being the destructive humans we are) digest, construct and spread a ridiculous amount of rubbish that not only affects our OWN wellbeing, can be poisonous for others.

As the news of Robin Williams’ suspected suicide broke, my feed was swamped with tributes from people who knew nothing about him, other than the fictional characters he played in Hollywood films. Most articles and images seemed to allude to the same question though: how could someone who seemed so happy, caring and obviously successful want to end their life?

The answer in short, is mental illness. The fact of the matter is however, that NO ONE (on my feed anyway) knew him at all. And while his close friends and family have probably seen many different sides to him (surprise!) there’s probably a load a stuff he rarely shared with anyone.. like the rest of us.

This assumption of ‘having it all’  is a fascinating one, that really pisses me off. 

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A few weeks ago, Sydney sider Harriet Wran; who happens to be the daughter of an extremely wealthy politician and goddaughter of Aussie billionaire Kerry Packer, was arrested for the alleged murder and stabbing of two men. Despite the fact the girl lost her father in April and has since relapsed into an ice addiction, the articles were titled “She Seemed To Have It All”  and the question as to why a wealthy, privileged, attractive young girl needs to use drugs and perform such crimes, underpinned all media discussions.

Firstly, drugs do not discriminate. There are many factors that lead to drug addiction, I highly doubt Harriet is proud of hers. Secondly, the belief that money and elite-ness  bring  happiness, content and mental stability is complete bullshit!! Thirdly, we all have a right to NOT be OKAY, regardless of how glossy our lives may seem to outsiders!

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Of course, assumptions and  stereotyping are experienced across the board. My friend was only telling me last week of how frustrated she feels by the “why would you live there?” and “isn’t it full of criminals out there?” questioning she frequently receives when disclosing her residential address, and I could see the anger and hurt on her face. Similarly, my Indigenous friend said that the belief that his people are all alcoholics and untrustworthy has led his family and friends down destructive paths, highlighting the effects of assumptions once again.

I too make assumptions, I’m only human after all. we all assume shit every single day, sometimes without realising that linking an overweight person with laziness or skinny people with an image obsession is actually unfair.

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Facebook and #Instagram are some of the biggest causes of self- sabotage, usually fuelled by the conclusions we draw from the tiny snap shots of relationships and social lives our friends share. I doubt Sally looks that hot after two hours of sleep and 10 shots of Tequila, or that Tom is ALWAYS smiling and laughing every second he’s around his new squeeze (and family!).

I wish we could be more realistic when drawing conclusions about the lives of others, and remember that we don’t always  know much at all when it comes to each others minds and experiences.

 

Rant over!